Wednesday, November 26, 2008

What Thanksgiving Sounds Like When My Hips Hurt

November has been rough. My FMS, which thrives in colder weather, has been stalking my days, turning simple tasks into massive challenges. At the end each day I find myself puzzling over how I could achieve so little and yet feel so depleted. Day after day of this can take a toll on one’s morale. It’s the “chronic” and not the “pain” part of a chronic pain disorder that is the real kicker.

Wait a minute, wait a minute. This is the time of year we stop to give thanks, not to whine about stuff! I am thankful to God for the fact that I never have to worry that my FMS will cause irreparable tissue damage, or give me dementia, or make my hair fall out, or destroy any of my organs. I am fundamentally healthy and that is no small blessing!

I am also so thankful that Ross and I are in a position where I don’t have to go out and get a job! In my experience, flexibility and autonomy are great weapons to have in the fight against chronic pain. (If I was making a list, hot baths would also be near the top! ) There have been times in my life that I didn’t have those things (the first two, not the hot baths), and there will probably be times in my future when I won't, but this season of life has been a wonderful gift!

Truly, this fibromyalgia flare-up reminds me that there is so much to be grateful for. Now that I have six years of this behind me I can look back and see God’s faithfulness through it all. I had so many fears when I first got that diagnosis. I was afraid that I would be financially ruined and forced to live in poverty. Didn’t happen. I was afraid my friends would get so annoyed with my constantly backing out of plans that they would abandon me. Didn’t happen. I was afraid that I would never meet a wonderful man who would want to marry me and my only companions through the years would be my cats. Didn’t happen. I was afraid I could never have a satisfying life, a life I could be proud of. I was so wrong!

The lessons FMS has to teach are ones I have been slow to learn, but I am learning this - the fears we hear in our heads are usually lies, and our God is always, always good!


Friar Tuck said...

So, if you moved to somwhere like Arizona would you feel better all the time?

Kimberly Cangelosi said...

A variety of factors can contribute to flare-ups (poor diet, infections, physical activity, stress) but cold weather is a BIG one for me. Right now, with Ross's work and the house, it isn't practical to move south, but it will probably happen evetually.

Valerie said...

Hi Kim,
I hope your Thanksgiving was great! Sorry to here that you haven't been feeling great. Don't move to Arizona. You should move to the east coast if you move. Jon was telling me yesturday that a guy at work was telling him that this year was some of the coldest weather they have had in 8 years and it is definatley warmer here than were your at. Hope you feel better.

Kimberly Cangelosi said...

The dry heat of some place like Arizona sounds amazing, but I'm not sure Ross and I would want to be so far from family. We have you guys in Georgia and Ross's folks in North Carolina, so the east coast might be where we end up.

Steph Stanger said...

Love you Kim! How discouraging looking at another winter of FM troubles! Sorry! I will be praying for you!